Not in the Cards Read online

  “Everybody ready?” Leonard asked, slapping Tony’s shoulder. “Your first stiff?”

  Tony nodded.

  “An easy intro, kid, really. It’s when you get a bloated floater that it takes your breath away. This...well, this won’t be too hard unless parts of the corpse are cut off. Then it gets a little rank. Just the other day—”

  Delta cleared her throat. “Detective, do you mind not discussing those particular cases with my rookie?”

  “Your rookie? All of a sudden, you get possessive on me? What gives here?”

  Delta made more eye contact with Tony that said to keep his mouth shut. If he understood, he didn’t acknowledge, nor did he respond to Leonard. “Just dispense with the gallows humor, Leonard, okay?”

  Chuckling to himself, Detective Leonard started through the door. As they entered the tiny house, the stifling air acted like an invisible barrier pushing against them. Delta knew both by the smell and by her gut that death lingered in this house, and she only hoped it wasn’t a gruesome sight. Lately, murders had become increasingly vile and ugly. People were doing more horrendous things to victims than simply shooting them. Hell, look at Jeffrey Dahmer and the scads of other cannibals, necrophiliacs, and Manson copycats arrested after he was.

  The thought brought bile to Delta’s throat.

  “I see they paired you with a man,” Leonard said as they walked carefully through the house.

  Delta nodded, but said nothing. Talking only made her smell more.

  “The smell is awful,” Tony finally said.

  Leonard approached him from behind. “It ain’t like the movies, Junior. So if you’re gonna huck up your lunch, do it away from my crime scene, okay?”

  Tony nodded as Leonard walked into another room. “Is that guy for real?”

  Before Delta could answer, Leonard called from the other room. “Found ’em.”

  Tony looked at Delta. “Them?”

  “Jesus Christmas and Merry New Year,” Leonard spat. “What in hell?”

  Delta started down the hall and took a right into the first bedroom. “Oh shit, no,” she groaned, stopping in the doorway and leaning against it.

  The body of a white man lay naked on the bed, face down on the pillow with half his head blown away. Dried blood and brains splattered the white wall above the bed and the entire pillow looked stiff from caked blood. His left arm dangled off the side of the bed and his right hand clenched a .38.

  Leonard skillfully picked his way back across the room and motioned for Delta to stop.

  “Stevie, I really don’t think you wanna see this. Why don’t you and Junior go start your reports and leave this for me and my guys?”

  Delta cocked her head. She’d never seen Russ Leonard try to shield anyone from anything. “What is it, Leonard?”

  “We don’t just have a suicide here, Stevie. We got a possible 1-8-7 as well.”

  Delta forced herself to join Leonard on the opposite side of the bed, and immediately regretted doing so. Laying on the floor handcuffed to the naked man was a boy about ten years old.

  “Oh shit,” Delta said, covering her mouth and taking several steps back.

  “I told ya. These are the worst.” Leonard bent over and inspected something Delta couldn’t see.

  “Interesting,” Leonard mumbled, pulling his notepad out and jotting something down. “I can tell you right now boys and girls, this one is gonna be a twister.”

  Feeling light-headed and needing fresh air, Delta pushed past Tony and hurried outside.

  “You okay?” Tony asked, coming to her side.

  Delta bent over and put her hands on her knees, the fetor of death still burning in her nostrils. “I’m...fine. I’m just sick...of finding dead children.”

  “Is that what it was?”

  Delta nodded and inhaled deeply. “Apparently, Dudley Richardson, if that’s who it is, was a little more unpredictable than his neighbor could ever imagine.”

  “What a bummer.”

  “Yeah. Not a great way to start a night. Who would do that to a kid?”

  Leonard stepped outside and lightly touched Delta’s arm. “You hangin’ in there, Stevie?”

  Delta managed a nod. “I don’t know how you do it, Leonard. How do you get in that car knowing you may be coming to scenes like this one?”

  “Someone’s gotta do it. By now, I gotta cast iron stomach. Still...seeing kids...Ah hell, we’re all messed up. Come on, Stevie and let’s get this place closed off.”

  After helping to cordon off the crime scene, Delta let Tony watch the Crime Unit as they went through their paces. A part of her wanted to get the hell out of there fast, but the part of her supposed to be teaching Tony knew he needed to see this aspect of an investigation.

  “Leonard,” Delta asked, sidling up next to him. “Will you do me a favor and let me know what comes of this?”

  Leonard grinned. “You’ll never give up your sleuthing ways, will you, Stevie?”

  “Not if I can help it, Detective.” Reaching out, Delta touched Russ Leonard for the first time since they’d met. “I never realized how tough your job was until today. Having to see shit like that would drive me crazy.”

  Leonard shrugged and blushed. “Adults, I don’t mind, but kids...” Suddenly, Leonard looked hard into Delta’s eyes. “Oh, I get it. You think—”

  “What I think, Leonard, is that there’s been two deaths on my beat and I would really appreciate some follow-up information.”

  Leonard smiled knowingly. “And I thought I had balls. You’re gonna do exactly what we’ve all been told not to do, aren’t you?”

  Delta stared at him. “What makes you say that?”

  Turning from her, Leonard walked back toward the house. “You could be suspended for a year, Stevie, but nothing can change one simple fact about you.”

  “And that fact is?”

  Turning around, Leonard grinned. “You’re a rogue cop, Stevie. Always have been, always will be, and there ain’t a soul alive that can hammer that out of you.”

  “I came by it honestly,” she said, hoping none of Leonard’s men were listening.

  “Yes, Stevie, I’m afraid you did. Miles Brookman taught you well.” With that, Detective Russ Leonard lumbered back into the house.

  To herself, Delta smiled and said, “Yes, Leonard, he did.”

  Delta sat and stared down at her hands. If she would have known that couples’ counseling was going to be so hard, she probably would have bonged it altogether. But, here she was, with a question glaring her in the face and she didn’t even know the answer. “Delta?”

  Looking up from her hands, Delta shrugged. “I’m not sure I understand the question.”

  Amanda Stone smiled her most patient therapist smile. “I asked whether or not you feel you prioritize the important things in your life.”

  “You mean, have I numbered them in order of importance?” Amanda nodded. Megan nodded. Everyone seemed to be nodding except Delta. Wasn’t counseling supposed to help self-esteem?

  “Yes. Something like that.”

  Delta thought for a moment. She wasn’t a list-maker. She just cruised through her day doing what needed to be done. “Not really.”

  “Would you mind trying it?” Amanda leaned toward her, her long black hair dropping forward like a curtain. She looked liked a therapist, with compassionate eyes that said she was sincerely listening and a mouth that let you know when she thought you were trying to bullshit yourself.

  Delta shrugged again. “Sure. Why not. What, exactly, am I listing?”

  “The important things in your life. Your job, your family, your friends, Megan, material items. Things of that nature.”

  Delta nodded and reached for Megan’s hand. “I love Megan more than anyone I’ve ever loved.”

  Amanda smiled and nodded. “Yes, but where does she fit in the scheme of your life?”

  “She’s the most important part. Is that what you’re asking?” Delta felt like she was in a play without
a script and they were both reading cue cards.

  Leaning forward, Amanda’s smile softened. “Delta, you’re here because you and Megan feel you use work to emotionally distance yourself from people. You both believe you give your energy, your time, your heart to the job. What I want to know is how do all these pieces fit together in your life? Don’t say what you think we want to hear or what you think is the right answer. Be honest with yourself; what is the one thing in your life that gets your best energy?”

  Delta stared down at the floor. She wanted to say her relationship. But then, that wouldn’t be honest and Megan deserved her honesty. Lifting her head, Delta whispered, “My job.”

  “Your job.”

  Delta nodded, looking over at Megan with apologetic eyes. Megan squeezed Delta’s hand and brought it to her lips. “It’s okay, honey. It’s no surprise.”

  “It’s no surprise, Delta, but why was it so hard to admit?”

  Delta shrugged. “I don’t want to hurt Megan.”

  “That’s why we’re here, sweetheart. So we learn how not to hurt each other.”

  “Why do you think admitting that will hurt Megan?” Leaning back, Amanda flipped her hair over her shoulder. Her dark eyes zeroed in on Delta’s.

  “Because she should be first. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Aren’t we supposed to put our relationships before everything else?”

  Amanda’s lips turned up slightly. “‘Supposed to’ by whose rules? Delta, the last two times we’ve met, I’ve gotten the impression that you don’t follow rules and conventions very much.”

  “I don’t.”

  “So why are you trying so hard to follow that rule?”

  Looking over at Megan, as if she might help with an answer, Delta heaved a sigh. “Because I don’t want to lose her. Megan means so much to me, but I can’t seem to give her more than my career.”

  “Do you want to?”

  Delta nodded. “I do.”

  “Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ hanging in the air?”

  Releasing Megan’s hand, Delta stared down into her palms. “I guess...I want to, but I don’t know how. All my life, all I’ve ever wanted to be was a cop. Every relationship I’ve had prior to this one came second to that.”

  “Why is that?”

  God, Delta hated this. She felt like her soul had been unzipped and that they were poking around inside trying to find out what hurt and what didn’t. “No one ever understood how much I love my job, or why. They’d bitch and moan that I wasn’t home enough, that I didn’t give them enough when I was home, blah, blah, blah.”

  “Does Megan do this?”

  Delta looked at Megan and smiled warmly. “No. Not yet.”

  Amanda’s eyebrows rose. “So, you anticipate that she will?”

  Delta hesitated before answering. “Yes. And who wouldn’t? I put in long hours, I risk my life, I eat, sleep, and drink my career. At some point, she’ll have to take a look and see if what I give the relationship is enough for her.”

  Amanda turned to Megan. “And is it?”

  For the first time, Megan adjusted her position in the chair. “Delta knows how much I love her. But love isn’t really the issue here, is it?”

  Amanda smiled the smile Delta was sure all shrinks were graded on in college. “I don’t know. Is it?”

  Megan blushed. “Love might have brought us here, but it isn’t the reason we came.”

  “Then what is?”

  “Right now, there are a lot of changes going on in my life, and I wish Delta didn’t work so hard so she could help me sort through them all.”

  “But?”

  “But she can’t.”

  “She can’t? Why not?”

  “Because she puts our relationship on autopilot. Delta stops working on everything but her career, especially when she’s working on a major case.”

  Amanda turned to Delta. “How do you see this, Delta?”

  Delta shrugged. “It’s true. When I’ve got something really hot happening, I forget about everything else in my life.”

  “Including your relationship?”

  Delta nodded.

  “And I take it you don’t want to do that anymore.”

  Delta bit her lower lip. “I’ve never given someone all of me. I guess I’ve been afraid of giving that up and then being stomped on.”

  “Like you’ve saved some of yourself for reserve?”

  Delta leaned forward. “Exactly. I hold back in all situations except the job. Megan is the first woman I’ve been with who’s been willing to help me learn how to be a better partner because, in all honesty, I don’t know how to give any more than I already give.”

  “I see. But you do want to give more?”

  “Yes, I do. She is an incredible woman, Amanda, and I really, really love her. She deserves my best.”

  “And you don’t believe you are giving that to her?”

  Delta slowly shook her head. “You heard her. She needs me right now and I’m not even sure I can be there for her.”

  “Do you want to be?”

  “I think so.”

  “You’re not sure?”

  Heaving a loud sigh, Delta rubbed her eyes. “Change isn’t easy for me.”

  Nodding while she jotted a few notes down, Amanda studied the two of them for a moment before speaking. “Desire to change is only the first step. You must know, in your heart, that you’re capable of change. Willing and able, like Megan said last week, are two entirely different things. I’m going to leave you with this question, and I don’t want you to talk about it, Delta, I just want you to think about it.”

  Delta nodded. “Okay.”

  “Let’s say love was in the shape of a golden key. If that key was sinking and so was your badge, and you could dive in to save only one, which would it be, and why?”

  Inhaling deeply, Delta nodded. “Okay. Anything else?”

  “Yes. Megan, you have needs which aren’t being met. I want you to focus on meeting them yourself. That will take some of the pressure away from Delta.”

  Megan nodded.

  “I hate to burst any bubbles, but love isn’t enough. You obviously know this, or you wouldn’t be here.”

  Both Megan and Delta nodded.

  “So, it’s time to start visualizing, start thinking about what needs to happen to make change, and what each of you will do if the change doesn’t happen or isn’t enough. How does that sound?”

  “Scary,” Megan answered.

  Amanda grinned. “It is. Any kind of change is scary, but relationship changes are the most frightening. As long as you both continue to communicate and work toward a common goal, you should be okay.”

  Okay. There was that word again.

  Okay. Delta didn’t want to be okay. She wanted to be better than okay. Her relationship with Megan was too important to just be okay.

  Rising from the chair, Delta didn’t hear what Amanda was saying to Megan; too busy thinking about a key and a badge slowly sinking from her grasp in a pool of calm water.

  She didn’t have a clue which one she would save.

  Delta awoke to the phone’s annoying ringing. She hated being awakened this way; it always made her heart beat fast.

  “Hello?”

  “Stevie? It’s Leonard. You wanted me to call if we found anything out about our alleged murder-suicide.”

  Delta sat up and changed ears with the phone. “I’m listening.”

  “Right from the get-go this didn’t appear right. Too many inconsistencies for the naked eye, but the lab boys cleared it up pretty damn fast.”

  “Inconsistencies, like what?”

  “Ballistics shows that both the boy and Richardson, the adult male victim, were shot by the same .38. But the autopsy on the boy revealed a millimeter hole and a two-centimeter ring of tattooing, which could only mean that the boy was shot at a distance of approximately four feet.”

  Delta waited to see where Leonard was going with this.

 
“If the boy and Richardson were handcuffed together at the time of the first shooting, Richardson was not the one to squeeze the trigger.”

  A chill swept through Delta. “Are you saying there was a third party?”

  “Most definitely. We ran a trace metal test and no gunpowder residue was found on Richardson’s hands. He didn’t shoot the gun at all.”

  “Is that what you were looking at?”

  Leonard chuckled. “I was looking at the way he was clutching the gun. His finger wasn’t on the trigger. With suicide shots like that, the victim usually grasps the gun harder. He did, but his finger wasn’t in the saddle.”

  “So, someone else shot him.”

  “Yep. Someone out there wants us to think Richardson shot the boy and then himself, but that’s not what happened. I’d bet my dinner on it. Someone was in that house with them and set the whole scene in motion.”

  “Interesting choice of words,” Delta muttered.

  “Don’t try to snow me, Stevie. I know what you’re after and I know why. Hell, more than anybody, I know why.”

  Delta held her breath and waited.

  “And that’s why I’m calling. If you’re gonna do what I think it is you’re doing, I want you armed with the right info.”

  Releasing her breath into the phone, Delta nodded. “Thanks, Leonard. I appreciate it more than you know. Did the lab find anything else?”

  The line went suspiciously silent. “Leonard?”

  “Look, Stevie, I know you’re a feminist and all, but I’m not real comfortable describing what went down prior to the shooting. Suffice it to say, some weird shit happened between Richardson and the boy.”

  “Thanks for your concern, but I’m a big girl and I need to know what kind of lunatics are running around my beat.”

  “We’re not talking lunatics, Stevie. These jokers are way out there.”

  “Leonard—”

  “Alright, but you gotta keep a lid on this, Stevie. I’ve already been in the shit-house once because of you.”

  “I’ll keep everything quiet till you give the word.”

  “All right then. The boy, on whom, by the way, we still have no ID, had been sodomized by Richardson and someone else. Richardson had semen traces in his stomach and had handcuff marks on both wrists.”