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There was a discernible pause before Connie answered. “Megan and Gina?”
Delta swallowed hard. Just the thought nauseated her. “You don’t think . . .”
“I really don’t know. I’ve thought and thought about it, but I haven’t a clue how distorted he is or might get.”
“Maybe we should get them out of here. You know, send them on a little vacation somewhere.”
“Sure. You try to move Gina from here, and she’ll rip your arms off and suck the blood from your body. Not a chance. She’s made it perfectly clear she’s not going anywhere without me. Believe me, Del, I already tried. She’s not budging.”
“Understandable. Who can blame her?”
“No-one. So you go see Megan before hauling your tired ass over here, or I’m not letting you in.”
“I have a key.”
“I have two big dogs.”
“They’re pussycats.”
“I’ll change the locks.”
“I’ll climb in through the window.” Delta grinned. It felt good hearing Connie be herself.
“Fine. Have it your way. But when she dumps you like a road apple, you’re not staying with us. This inn is full.”
“She isn’t going to dump me.”
“She will, if you don’t start paying some attention to her.”
Delta threw her hands up, and the phone dropped from her ear and clanged against the phone booth. “Sorry. I dropped the phone.”
“Are you sorry enough to go see her?”
“Yes! For crying out loud, you don’t have to force me!”
Jan honked. Delta ignored her. “Did you get a hold of your computer pal in Arizona?”
“He’s in Europe. I have a few other calls out, but summer is an impossible time to get in touch with people. Consider us on our own for the time being.”
Delta had anticipated as much. It wouldn’t be the first time they faced hostile and uneven odds. “Well, I’ll be over after a while. Save some java for me. In the meantime, take a break. Give your head a rest. We’ll pick up the pace when I get to your house.”
Connie sighed heavily into the phone. “You’re something, you know that?”
“Yeah, and when we figure out just what, then we’ll all know. See you later.”
Backing out of the phone booth, Delta slowly inhaled and looked up at the clear night sky. She felt like a time bomb with a sizzling fuse. She would have to do the one thing she was worst at; be patient. She would have to remind herself that every step she took, every corner she turned, brought her closer to the man-monster behind the wheel of this sick and twisted ride. She must remain patient, even though every tick of the clock brought them nearer to another level and another death. She would play his dangerous game and move like some mortal being steered by an insane god. Maybe that’s what irked her the most; he was using her. Delta knew she had no other choice but to do as he dictated. He called the shots and she hated him for it. She didn’t like being used. She didn’t like him thinking he could push her this way and that.
Ah, but when the tide turned and the time was right; when the second hand paused between the strokes and the final grain of sand suspended in the air, the soliloquy would be hers. Because, although he was capable of moving her like some puppet on a string, what he did not know was the strength of Delta’s character and her commitment to those she loved.
And that, Delta thought, as she moved toward the patrol car, would be his ruin.
When Delta finally let herself into Megan’s peach and mint-colored apartment, she wasn’t the least bit surprised to find her asleep with an accounting book across her lap. At her feet lay a thick law book open face down. Bending down to pick up the law book, Delta smiled and shook her head. She had started to realize just how important college was to Megan. At first, she took business courses, believing that would be her forte. Then, she took one criminal justice course and fell in love with law; not just the law she witnessed being a part of Delta’s life, but courtroom law. The kind that criminal lawyers study. Megan had been bitten, and Delta was beginning to understand what was going on in her head. Sitting on the edge of the couch, Delta lightly touched Megan’s cheek with her fingertips.
She was the most incredible woman Delta had ever loved. Unlike anyone Delta knew, Megan had picked her life out of the gutter and was polishing it to a brilliant shine. She demanded more than had been given to her, and was carving out a life for herself in college.
Delta hoped she would continue to play a role in this mess.
Looking down at the woman she loved resting peacefully, Delta slowly traced
Megan’s thick eyebrow with her fingertip. Delta had to admit she’d neglected her relationship as soon as it got on stable ground; a pattern she had developed early on, and the biggest criticism her ex-lovers had about her.
Somehow, she expected Megan to work on her own changing life and keep the relationship strong as well. Feeling her eyes start to water, Delta inhaled deeply and swallowed back the tears. How was it she could be best partner in the world when wearing a badge, but when that badge came off, she expected her personal life relationship to function on auto-pilot? Connie was right; Delta would lose this precious gift if she didn’t start participating as an equal member of the partnership.
The problem was that she didn’t really know how to. She could give her career 110%, but she hadn’t ever really given that to a living, breathing being.
Tracing Megan’s face with her index finger, Delta bent over and gently kissed her cheek. If anyone could help Delta love better, who could show her what it meant to give something besides her job everything she had, it was this woman right here.
Slowly taking her hand out from under the pillow, Megan made little sleepy noises. “What time is it?” Wrapping her arm around Delta, she stretched.
“Four-fifteen.”
Megan opened one eye. “You look beat.”
“I am.”
Stretching the length of the couch, Megan’s pink nightgown hung precariously off one shoulder. “How did it go tonight?”
“Do you mean my beat or the game?”
Sitting up, Megan took Delta’s hand in hers and kissed the back of it. “Both.”
“Connie’s been working on the game all night. I’m on my way over to help her out, but I wanted to stop by and see you first.” Delta did not let go of Megan’s hand.
Moving closer, so there was no space between them, Megan reached ran her fingers through Delta’s hair. “What’s the matter, baby?”
Delta closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of Megan’s gentle caresses. Megan knew her better than any lover ever had. She read right through Delta’s tough facades and knew when Delta needed to be held. God, she loved Megan.
“Talk to me.”
Slowly opening her eyes, Delta leaned over and kissed Megan’s lips. It was a soft kiss, the kind that said ‘I don’t know what I’d do without you.’ The kind that shuts out the rest of the world so that all she felt was the warmth spreading from her lips to the rest of her body.
“Megan, I love you.” Delta breathed, as their lips barely moved apart. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
Megan smiled and caressed Delta’s cheek with the back of her hand. “I know you do.”
“Do you? Do you know that I do care about the things you’re learning in school? Do you know that I am so very proud of you for your excellence in class?”
Megan nodded and held both of Delta’s hands. “Yes, I do.”
“But I don’t say it enough.”
“No, you don’t,” Megan softly concurred.
Delta bowed her head. “And that scares me.”
“It scares me, too.”
Shifting her weight so she could fully face Megan but still hold hands, Delta sighed. “I’m not the best partner in the world. I’m realizing that more and more.”
Megan started to reply but shook her head. “Go on.”
“I get wrapped up in my work a
nd expect you to do all of the maintenance on the relationship. It’s not fair, I know, but I don’t know how else to be. Ever since I became a cop, I haven’t been able to give anything else the kind of energy I give my job.”
Megan squeezed Delta’s hand. “Able and willing are different, my love. The Delta I know is able to do anything her will desires. What hurts sometimes is I don’t know how much you want to give to me—to us.”
“I don’t want to lose you.” Delta’s voice was so quiet, Megan leaned in to hear her. “But I don’t know how to keep you, either.”
Pulling Delta closer, Megan wrapped her arms around her. “Oh, Delta. My brave, strong cop. I love you so very much.” Rocking Delta in her arms, Megan lightly kissed her neck. “You’ve just taken the first step towards keeping me.”
“Really? God, Megan, sometimes I get so scared.” Pulling back so she could see Megan’s face, Delta’s felt small. “Have you ever felt like you never really learned how to love someone? Like you keep trying to do what’s right, but you make the same stupid mistakes all the time?”
Megan grinned. “More times than you’d know.”
“It scares me because I do so many things so well, but I feel like a beginner when it comes to making a relationship work. No matter what I do, I always get comfortable with the relationship and I stop working on it. I don’t know how to fix that.”
“Well, sweetheart, you have the first ingredient, and that’s caring enough to want to make it work. As long as we both talk and learn and fight to make it work, we’ll be okay.”
“I want to be better than okay. I want, no, I need to know that I am 50% of the relationship. Right now,” Delta pulled Megan back to her, “I feel like I’m about 10%.”
Kissing Delta’s cheek, Megan held her tightly. “Sometimes, you are.”
“But you deserve the best.”
“Yes, I do.”
Delta pulled back once more. “I want to be the best. I want to be your last. I just don’t know how to be that; how to get there.”
Megan took Delta’s face in her hands and looked long and hard into her eyes. “We get there by working together. Delta, being too comfortable in a relationship usually means someone has stopped working or growing. You wouldn’t stop working or growing on the job, would you?”
Delta shook her head. “If I did, I might wind up dead.” Then it hit her. “Oh.”
Megan nodded. “Are you willing to let that happen?”
Delta shook her head. “I’ll do anything to keep that from happening, Meg. But talk hasn’t helped me before. We can talk and talk and talk, and I’ll end up going back to coasting if we don’t find a way to get this relationship maintenance stuff into my thick head.”
Megan lightly touched Delta’s cheek. Her eyes were so loving and filled with understanding, Delta thought she might cry. “Del, I know this might be hard to hear, and you don’t have to answer me right now, but will you go to counseling with me?”
Delta hesitated for a moment. “Counseling?” She had always thought of counseling as a fad; something rich housewives made up to have something to do. Sandy, her latest ex, had shelves filled with self-help manuals and did everything but read them aloud to Delta.
Then, Delta wasn’t interested enough to know what Sandy had been trying to say.
But now, she was.
“Counseling. Honey, you’re a wonderful woman trapped behind that damned badge. If the badge always comes first, we won’t make it. Counseling will just help us sort through some of the feelings and fears we both have about the role that badge plays in both our lives. Maybe if we understand that, we can help you be the partner you want to be.”
Inhaling deeply, Delta nodded, her face still in Megan’s hands. There wasn’t a question. She would do whatever Megan wanted, and if seeing a shrink would help, so be it. “I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes to learn how to love you better. Best.”
“My love,” Megan whispered, bringing Delta’s mouth to hers. “You already love me better than anyone ever has.”
“But it isn’t good enough. Not for me, anyway.”
“Shh. It will be.” Megan’s lips barely touched Delta’s in a kiss searing with emotional energy. “It takes two, right? Maybe I need to learn more about what makes you tick both in and out of uniform.” Megan kissed her again. “Together, Delta, you and I can face anything. Trust me. Counseling will only make us stronger.”
“I do trust you.”
“Good. Because I know how hard it is for you to agree to this. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think it would help.”
Holding her tightly, Delta whispered, “I love you, Megan.”
“I love you, too, my scared little Del. Don’t you worry about a thing, we’re going to be just fine.”
“That’s better than okay.”
Megan’s smile deepened as she lay on the couch and pulled Delta down next to her. “Yes, sweetie, it is. Will you lie with me awhile before you go?”
Delta glanced over at the clock. She was already late. “Connie--”
“Already called and told me to keep you here until school. You’re mine for the morning.”
Laying her head down on Megan’s chest, Delta sighed and clung to her like a soft raft. “She takes good care of me.”
“Yes, she does. But it’s my turn now.”
Delta’s muscles relaxed as Megan stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. As her arms and eyelids got heavier and heavier, Delta forgot all about a man named Elson and a bizarre murder case. The only thing she cared about at that moment was hearing the rhythmic beating of a heart she loved more than anything else in the world.
Chapter 26
“Any progress on the game front?” Jan asked as she started the engine.
“Not much. Connie and I worked all afternoon trying to figure out what to do with those damned gloves, but we’re stumped.”
“How frustrating.”
“And exhausting. Knowing that every minute brings us closer to another murder drives Connie like nothing I’ve ever seen. She subsists on coffee and nerves alone.”
Jan cut her eyes at Delta. “And how are you?”
Delta shrugged. “Scared. Angry. There are a lot of weird emotions tumbling around inside. According to our info, he’ll strike again tonight between ten and one. We spent the last two days mapping, playing, and researching, and we still don’t have a clue.”
Jan blew a hard breath out of her mouth. “Great. We know he’s out there, he’s coming, and he’s going to hurt someone, and there’s not a damned thing we can do about it.”
Delta nodded. “It’s not for lack of trying.”
“What’s the hold-up? With a brain like Connie, I would have thought you’d have it by now. I mean, the game can’t be that hard, can it?”
“The problem is, we don’t have a key. You know, all those dumb games have one thing that tips the scales in the player’s favor. There’s something that ties the game together but we just haven’t found it. Connie’s exhausted and I . . . well, if I never see another computer, it will be too soon for me.”
“That bad, huh?”
Delta nodded. “That bad. If we don’t break a major clue soon, I don’t know if anyone will be able to stop him.”
“Leonard has nothing?”
“Nothing we can use. As long as he insists on tying Elson’s crimes with the shooting, he’s lost in a cornfield. We can count him out for awhile. For now, it’s just the five of us and Eddie.”
As the night wore on, Delta’s senses got keener. Like an owl in the dark, she could see things in an alley a hundred feet away that most people would miss right under their noses. She could distinguish between a man, a hooker, a cross dresser, and a pimp without looking twice, and she practically knew by the smell when a street hood was carrying a piece. There was a draw, a sense that allowed her to creep through the night, like a cat on a fence, through a hostile and frightened city. She relied on her intuition, the gut feelings that
told her when danger was present, or when she was close to her quarry. It had never failed her yet, and she always listened to it.
Like now.
It rang like a boxer’s bell. “Jan, stop!”
Jan slammed on the brakes without question. “What?”
Delta shone her spotlight at the base of a huge bronze statue of a cowboy standing with a lariat in his hands, a few feet away from where Jan had stopped the car. “I, I don’t know.” Something deep inside her tried to push its way through.
Jan waited.
As the spotlight waved across the massive statue, Delta stared at it. She’d seen it a thousand times, yet she’d never really looked at it. It held nothing of any remarkable value, no unusual traits.
So why was she looking at it now?
“Del?”
Delta did not answer. Something picked at her subconscious, but it was, as of yet, unformed. Try as she might, she couldn’t bring it forward and give it shape. But it was there. She knew it. She could feel it.
Ever since Elson’s cold, metallic eyes had first targeted her, she felt a bizarre sort of energy from him. It wasn’t that she felt watched, but rather . . . hunted. Yes, that was it; it was as if he were hunting her. Like a snake slithering through the grass, he was watching her and waiting for the moment to strike.
Shutting off the spotlight, Delta closed her eyes and opened her mind and allowed her thoughts to bump into each other, hoping they might jar some idea or some picture loose in her mind.
It was like having something on the tip of her tongue, and then forgetting it; the more she thought about it, the harder it was to retrieve. Connie had said something about cowboys, but she couldn’t remember the exact context of what it was or why it was important. Or had it been Megan? Maybe they had both said something. But what was it, and why did she feel its linked importance to the current case?
In her mind’s eye, Delta saw herself as a kid, walking along with her father down to a small corral around the corner of their house to watch the local riders jump and barrel race. Her dad would lift her up to the fence and they would sit and bake in the sun, as the gleaming horses kicked up the red clay dirt beneath leather-clad riders.